The World Is One News - FAKE.

Satire - for those who have common sense.

Once up a today, there was a fictitious world that had a fictitious place, and at some fictitious time there was a discussion between some non existent people:

'Shubprabhat (Good morning) my dear Shamitji. What is the navi taza (latest and freshest) news of the day? I am tired of hearing this news centered around the ATMa. It is hogging more front page space than the real and important news, and you don't have to do this "aarti-puja" of mine on a daily basis.'

'I am just trying to ward off any evil eye effect cast on you by your growing number of detractors.'

'Ha ha ha. Evil eye effect on me? Not possible. I am like a mirror, whatever evil they send to me, I send it back magnified, or haven't you noticed it? Anyway, let's get on with our business. How is Urja's energy level holding up?'

'He has hired some mathematicians and accountants to balance the nations books as the output of our currency is much greater than the input. If he does not balance the books correctly, we would have lost three battles of credibility with one move of yours; that is that of the nation, central bank and yourself.'

'My move? If I remember correctly, all my moves are based on your advice. It is you who told me that this is the rightest time to do it too if we want to consolidate our power for the next million years.'

'Advice is advice. Intelligent don't need it and fools don't take it.'

'Excuse me! What does that mean? Never mind, don't answer it as you are my only friend that I can trust at the moment. So tell me, what's good and bad?'

'Good news is that of the four Devis with potential to trouble you, one is gone, second is busy hiding her bags, the third is on the edge, and the most powerful fourth contemplating a move back to where she came from. Thank God, the women in our team have been tamed. The bad news is, we may have to fight the war of the western megalopolis on our own, without our traditional allies, which in some ways may not be entirely bad as our traditional foes may help us fight our former allies since you praised their leader as your mentor. What an idea Sirjee.'

'You are so right. You know, heart of heart I feel sad for the one who passed away. She was like a Goddess to her people. Thank God, the people did not mess up her kingdom. She was kind of an ally. Make an SWOT assessment of  that guy whose succeeded her. The one whose name sounds like cottage cheese, and assist him in his fight with the dearly departed's sole mate, he he he, I don't want to deal with another single woman. Do turn her palatial residence into a museum. I believe she has more dresses and footwear than any other woman on our planet. For the second one, I have no sympathy. Find a way to confiscate her million bags and put them in our friend's museum too. Third one, see if we can help her in any way? I am surprised that some people buy her horrid paintings for tons of money and she can't spend some of it on better sarees and chappals like our departed friend.. Even a school kid can paint better. The fourth, may be best she leaves. Now that her puppet has found his own voice, he may talk back to her as well. Moreover, with the results of the elections in her home country, she may have realized that her son has a better chance there than over here, as he can say and do what he pleases without being made a fun of.'

'Brilliant analysis Sirjee..'

'Wait! I am not finished yet. Actually, I am. What do we do on the western front? I am sure quite a few business folks must be upset at their wealth being converted to toilet paper.'

'Sorry to disagree Sirjee. But that was all taken care of. It was not such a secret move as you thought it was. Plus, you forget, we rule a nation of such clever people. Much more creative, cleverer and corrupt than we give them credit for.'

'You are right. But the common man is suffering, what can we do for him?'

'Well let's put it this way, he asked for it. You did your bit to eradicate the corrupt, and who says that a majority of the common men are not corrupt too or a party to the corruption? Look at that common man anti-corruption crusader... once he got into power, he converted to the religion of politics in no time. Now, no one will raise the subject of corruption again for quite some time to come, as we have sent the message that "charity begins at home" never ours but theirs.'

'What a brilliant analysis Shamitji. You remind me of a mythical God who gave a sermon on the battlefield. Enough of our heart talk, some more "kadak-chai" (strong tea)? I made it myself this morning. Old habits die hard. But you do realize a few need to be made examples of?'

'Of course Sirjee. I have a list ready... And your tea, wah ustad wah! You make it the best.'

'So what do you think of the new general next door? Will he over throw my frenemy ruling that country? And... should we invite my alter ego from the western hemisphere for having won the person of the year title? I am sure he must have paid for it, else it was surely mine... don't you think? And... and.... how do we explain the high profile weddings....and.....

--------------------------------------------------------- To be read with a pinch of salt.

By the way, just heard of a new news channel called "WOIN" (World Is One News). I agree - It's all the same. Nothing really good, and that's why Fake news is in.