December 2nd, 2016, happened to be the last day for the old Rs 500 notes at petrol bunks. There was a long queue of cars waiting to fill up, but not long enough to qualify as an inconvenient one. The car in front of me was trying to pay up in soiled/torn Rs 500 notes and the jockey was refusing to accept them. "How does it matter if they are torn? They have to go to the RBI for destruction anyway" the lady at the wheel argued. The jockey insisted on acceptable notes or else payment on the card as he suspected that the notes were fakes. Finally after holding up the line for a better of 5 minutes, the woman took out a fresh bundle of old Rs 500 notes and paid up.
I got into a conversation with the jockey and asked him why he was being so rude to the woman who had just left? "She comes here three times a day everyday for the last 10 days, each time in a different car, tanks up and pays with old notes. I think I can smell a rat even with this strong stink of gasoline fumes, and so I am careful." I started to laugh hearing him say that. Told him that demonetization has set up several new job opportunities, like queue jockey for banks and ATMs, maybe she too had struck upon an opportunity to make a quick buck. He was not amused, just said he was thankful that this misery of accepting old notes was over. The owner of the bunk had made the employees responsible for any suspect note accepted and the man I was talking to was already down Rs 2,000 for the month. I thought he would be angry and spit venom at those responsible, including the Prime Minister for the loss and inconvenience. Surprisingly, he defended the PM's action. "Do you know after how long I have tasted vegetables in my house Sir? Until 3 weeks back, Rs 100 would buy some 3 kg of tomatoes, now I can bargain for 6. Yes, it is a bit inconvenient for us drawing out money, but more and more people are going cashless. Soon there will be a cashless Bharat." Wow! Caste-less we haven't become in some 70 years of independence, reason politics; and I have the same view on becoming cashless as well, for much the same reason. But, this man had certainly booked his season ticket on the "Modi-Express".
Leaving the common man on the platform, it seems our famous Bollywood actor, the most wanted Dabaang Tiger has climbed aboard the "Swachh-Bharat Express". Tired of watching people crap in front of his house while enjoying a million dollar sea view and sea-breeze (no not because they hate his acting, rather, out of an ancient and well loved tradition of open defecation), he complained to the authorities to make it stop. In stead, he was drafted as a brand ambassador to educate people on the ills of such practise. I wonder why was he hand picked? Was it because of how he taught street dwellers a lesson on not sleeping on the pavements, or black bucks on what happens when they obstruct his view? In any event the guy always plays the role of law enforcer and ends up facing its heat in real life for no real fault of his, mostly because of what he says. Guys, give him a break, he is only "being human". The latest news is that the authorities feel that operation "cut the crap" may not succeed as the real hero (or villain) in operation "clean up the roads" was owned up by the actor's driver-less car, and in "please keep clear oh deer" - it was the auto target detecting and self firing gun, which even our army does not have that was responsible. Too bad he did not get a jail sentence, else he would have joined the league of extraordinary men who end up as rulers of men. It's okay for such men to whip out revolvers just like in "westworld'. Maybe our government should have ordered a surgical strike on those who literally stink our nation with open defecation, after all they are not bovine to receive the incentives and protection they have at the tax payer's cost.
Well, as a tax payer, I am certainly opposed to the excessive security doled out to the political community, knowing well that most of them are undeserving of the same. I saw a clip of the CM of WB screaming hysterically about what she believes is her fiefdom being attacked and annexed to India by the Indian Army. Her state did look like it was in need of some considerable help; no, not WB silly, but the state of her mind. While "Didi" may be paranoid about the presence of the army, but I do think that the Apollo hospital in Chennai will request for it to be deployed, just in case. Should anything happen to the "Amma" while in its care, there will no hospital there the next day. Well there have been strong rumors floating for more than a month that she is already.... you can guess. Did you know if you said that in TN you could be arrested? Good punishment, as she did wake up from coma, signed papers (thumb impressions) and make statements even though no one in the general public saw her. Well one should never believe in or spread rumors anyway.
Why am I saying it? Because, there are tons of it floating around. Remember as kids we were told to be scared of the "budda-baba" (old man) kind of bogey-man? Our PM is the latest Old/Bogey man. He is coming after your cash, your gold, your property, here and overseas. Some of my friends asked why not after the wives, cause if it was not for them, a man would never need cash, gold or property; just like our wise PM who has become a billionaire - receiving a billion or more blessings of his people. Well his ministers (at least) some of them would put a lot of billionaires to shame, Mr. Trump included.
Mr. Trump, looks like he has become a Modi fan too. He too has decided to fill his cabinet with billionaires. (Guys, every cabinet is not that of booze and cash). However, the true credit for starting this trend goes to our former PM, the one who regained his voice after a hiatus of some ten years. I asked a few people if they would give our PM five more years after the current term? Well most said they would promise to give him ten more if he lets them survive until 2019 elections. Why won't he? After all it looks like this nation is full of honest people, event the dishonest ones. Everyone seems to be returning the Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes to the banks, irrespective how they were earned. The banking system is worried that at the rate at which it is collecting money, all of the Rs 1.4 trillion in circulation will come back. Some fear even more, and the trouble is not much of it is fake as per the machines. See, we were all wrong in casting doubts about the men and women in white being corrupt. No wonder they are not looking troubled in any way.
Lastly, some 220 million people of this Country will become millionaires via the "Jan Dhan" (people's wealth) scheme. How aptly was it named . How? Am I going to tell you everything? Don't you follow the news? The PM had promised that every Indian household will get Rs 1.5 million when he gets the culprits to surrender their ill gotten wealth. There, you have it. Now if you did not open a Jan Dhan account, and haven't received your share, then it's your own bloody fault. What? You called me a liar?
In this country, everyone speaks the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it is an inconvenient one.
* If you don't understand the meaning - don't read it
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