Got 2016 Right (Almost)

It's official. I can call my self an economostrologer. I did get the global situation right in most parts even though I did goof up about Trump not making it as President or Britain not opting for a Brexit. Then there were other like me, who thought the same, and are still hoping that Trump will not get sworn in (or will get impeached in less than a 100 days); and Brexit will be disallowed by the Parliament.

Okay, I did not predict much about my own home Country, but what I did, came true. (Read previous blogs  Sell! Sell! Bye! Bye!  and  Go on a long early vacation.) 

I did take a long vacation this year, and in my complacency fail to predict that Mr. Modi would take the reins of the BJP chariot himself for a quick and dirty turnaround. India's surgical strike on terror camps across the border woke up the "Indianism" in the Indian, who had given up on his Nation's ability to back sound bytes with action. The Indianism gave way to a higher order of idealism with Modi's war on the demon called "King Cash".  Demonetization, a 3 pronged attack to kill terror funding, tax evasion, and counterfeiting was greeted with 3 cheers by the people, despite the hardship it threw them in. Both his wars have yielded mixed results. Terror hasn't stopped, nor has terror funding, nor evasion, not counterfeiting. It has become a bit more difficult though for those engaged in such acts. But the big concern is that he has once again started peeving off his supporters.

Anyway, today is not a day for all this talk. It's a day when one should be glad that not many days are left in this year which did turn out to be a hell of a SNAFU one. Thankfully, all the shit that had to hit the ceiling is already up there giving all of us a lesser need to worry about predictions and or fake news.

How does it look in 2017? Not very good as of now, but all the shit around in this world is obscuring my foresight. Hopefully another short holiday will cure it. But hard as I may try to think objectively, I do feel that we better get used to living in this world that's transformed to hell. It's the Devil's own world sadly, whichever way we look, everyone is breaking bad. Does that mean I have given up hope? No way, we are yet some time away from a total FUBR situation. And, on that shred of optimism....

Merry Christmas Real Readers and Bots. (If mankind is thinking of marrying them by 2050, no harm treating them as own - don't you think?)









THE BLOG

Talk Of Impeaching Trump May Be Premature, But Its Time Will Come

 12/23/2016 11:02 am ET

Bill Blum Lawyer, retired judge, novelist, columnist @truthdig and lecturer at USC Annenberg School of Communications. Progressive views on law and politics.

[This column was originally published by Truthdig.com]

The Battle for Brexit is still a long way from being over

Show Me De Money

After some serious chest thumping by Mr. Gandhi, threatening to burst the Prime Minister's balloon, by exposing him in the Parliament with charges of corruption so great, that it would cause a quake within the, the former paid the latter a visit along with his entourage to discuss the plight of farmers in UP and Punjab.

The poor farmer, always in debt,  first killed himself because of crop failure due to water drought, then floods, and now because of a drought of cash. The poor farmer has been killing himself for years, even under the previous government controlled by the Gandhi family. So the awakening of consciousness for the farmer's plight does seem dubious. There were quite a few earthquakes around the world in those days when Mr. Gandhi opened his mouth, but none in the Indian Parliament.

The PM's party-men egged Mr. Gandhi to spill the beans outside of Parliament because any allegation made in the sacred well is privileged and not eligible for any form of prosecution even if otherwise libelous in nature. That very evening, when the two met though, an announcement made its way that Political Parties big and small not to be questioned about the funds garnered, or the source, from the day the demonetization of the old high value notes went into effect. Well who can then stop the tongue of the common man quacking? Did the meeting have anything to do with this announcement? If yes, had Mr. Gandhi Jr. shaken the PM in to it? Was there some other deal struck on elections in UP and Punjab concerning farming of votes in exchange of certain concesiions? Then was all of Mr. Gandhi's noise directed at getting an audience? It did happen on the shoulder of a grand opposition alliance. If not, then why did the  PM say "Should always meet like this" to Mr. Gandhi and team?

Questions for which there are no real answers, and answers that by now, this nation does not really care for. It is quite evident that the war on a demon called corruption has given rise to a bigger and better form of corruption, thanks to those agencies and systems that were supposed to fight it.

Bank officials including those of the Reserve bank have assisted the exchange of money in quantum that far exceeds permissible limits. Street has it that most politicians and political parties, active or dormant went straight to the doors of the RBI to get the old notes changed. While people waited in queues to get some or no money from banks and ATMs due to shortage of currency and restrictions, politicians were transporting money in millions for friends. For a change, black cash collectors were handing ill gotten money to the very source that gave them it in the first place - for a clean up at a cost.

More gold was imported in India in the month of November than any other month of 2016, knowing well that most of the hidden wealth would want to change its colour from black to gold. However, with the announcement of to 50:50 scheme, the price of gold corrected from a high of Rs. 60,000 per 10gms some time back in cash deals to Rs. 28,000. Not only that, where old discontinued notes were being traded at a discount, now old notes are fetching a premium. There is news that the shortage of cash has forced smaller town traders to continue accepting the old stuff as legal tender. Not everyone is happy going cashless.

Real Estate never had it so good. Sales picked up and even shit was selling at a premium. Well advised, a lot of realtors declared tons of undeclared income in the IDS of September, collected tons of cash at a premium in November, and will happily paid the taxes in December. With a lot of unsold inventory gone, the promise of the much awaited price correction has become as true as the promise of a "Swacch Bharat" - free of pollution and corruption.

It's back to business as usual for this Country - if you want anything done, be ready to hear "Show me the money, and black is beautiful, as long as you paint it white please."

The World Is One News - FAKE.

Satire - for those who have common sense.

Once up a today, there was a fictitious world that had a fictitious place, and at some fictitious time there was a discussion between some non existent people:

'Shubprabhat (Good morning) my dear Shamitji. What is the navi taza (latest and freshest) news of the day? I am tired of hearing this news centered around the ATMa. It is hogging more front page space than the real and important news, and you don't have to do this "aarti-puja" of mine on a daily basis.'

'I am just trying to ward off any evil eye effect cast on you by your growing number of detractors.'

'Ha ha ha. Evil eye effect on me? Not possible. I am like a mirror, whatever evil they send to me, I send it back magnified, or haven't you noticed it? Anyway, let's get on with our business. How is Urja's energy level holding up?'

'He has hired some mathematicians and accountants to balance the nations books as the output of our currency is much greater than the input. If he does not balance the books correctly, we would have lost three battles of credibility with one move of yours; that is that of the nation, central bank and yourself.'

'My move? If I remember correctly, all my moves are based on your advice. It is you who told me that this is the rightest time to do it too if we want to consolidate our power for the next million years.'

'Advice is advice. Intelligent don't need it and fools don't take it.'

'Excuse me! What does that mean? Never mind, don't answer it as you are my only friend that I can trust at the moment. So tell me, what's good and bad?'

'Good news is that of the four Devis with potential to trouble you, one is gone, second is busy hiding her bags, the third is on the edge, and the most powerful fourth contemplating a move back to where she came from. Thank God, the women in our team have been tamed. The bad news is, we may have to fight the war of the western megalopolis on our own, without our traditional allies, which in some ways may not be entirely bad as our traditional foes may help us fight our former allies since you praised their leader as your mentor. What an idea Sirjee.'

'You are so right. You know, heart of heart I feel sad for the one who passed away. She was like a Goddess to her people. Thank God, the people did not mess up her kingdom. She was kind of an ally. Make an SWOT assessment of  that guy whose succeeded her. The one whose name sounds like cottage cheese, and assist him in his fight with the dearly departed's sole mate, he he he, I don't want to deal with another single woman. Do turn her palatial residence into a museum. I believe she has more dresses and footwear than any other woman on our planet. For the second one, I have no sympathy. Find a way to confiscate her million bags and put them in our friend's museum too. Third one, see if we can help her in any way? I am surprised that some people buy her horrid paintings for tons of money and she can't spend some of it on better sarees and chappals like our departed friend.. Even a school kid can paint better. The fourth, may be best she leaves. Now that her puppet has found his own voice, he may talk back to her as well. Moreover, with the results of the elections in her home country, she may have realized that her son has a better chance there than over here, as he can say and do what he pleases without being made a fun of.'

'Brilliant analysis Sirjee..'

'Wait! I am not finished yet. Actually, I am. What do we do on the western front? I am sure quite a few business folks must be upset at their wealth being converted to toilet paper.'

'Sorry to disagree Sirjee. But that was all taken care of. It was not such a secret move as you thought it was. Plus, you forget, we rule a nation of such clever people. Much more creative, cleverer and corrupt than we give them credit for.'

'You are right. But the common man is suffering, what can we do for him?'

'Well let's put it this way, he asked for it. You did your bit to eradicate the corrupt, and who says that a majority of the common men are not corrupt too or a party to the corruption? Look at that common man anti-corruption crusader... once he got into power, he converted to the religion of politics in no time. Now, no one will raise the subject of corruption again for quite some time to come, as we have sent the message that "charity begins at home" never ours but theirs.'

'What a brilliant analysis Shamitji. You remind me of a mythical God who gave a sermon on the battlefield. Enough of our heart talk, some more "kadak-chai" (strong tea)? I made it myself this morning. Old habits die hard. But you do realize a few need to be made examples of?'

'Of course Sirjee. I have a list ready... And your tea, wah ustad wah! You make it the best.'

'So what do you think of the new general next door? Will he over throw my frenemy ruling that country? And... should we invite my alter ego from the western hemisphere for having won the person of the year title? I am sure he must have paid for it, else it was surely mine... don't you think? And... and.... how do we explain the high profile weddings....and.....

--------------------------------------------------------- To be read with a pinch of salt.

By the way, just heard of a new news channel called "WOIN" (World Is One News). I agree - It's all the same. Nothing really good, and that's why Fake news is in.

The Inconvenient Truth - A Satire*

December 2nd, 2016,  happened to be the last day for the old Rs 500 notes at petrol bunks. There was a long queue of cars waiting to fill up, but not long enough to qualify as an inconvenient one. The car in front of me was trying to pay up in soiled/torn Rs 500 notes and the jockey was refusing to accept them. "How does it matter if they are torn? They have to go to the RBI for destruction anyway" the lady at the wheel argued. The jockey insisted on acceptable notes or else payment on the card as he suspected that the notes were fakes. Finally after holding up the line for a better of 5 minutes, the woman took out a fresh bundle of old Rs 500 notes and paid up.

I got into a conversation with the jockey and asked him why he was being so rude to the woman who had just left? "She comes here three times a day everyday for the last 10 days, each time in a different car, tanks up and pays with old notes. I think I can smell a rat even with this strong stink of gasoline fumes, and so I am careful."  I started to laugh hearing him say that. Told him that demonetization has set up several new job opportunities, like queue jockey for banks and ATMs, maybe she too had struck upon an opportunity to make a quick buck. He was not amused, just said he was thankful that this misery of accepting old notes was over. The owner of the bunk had made the employees responsible for any suspect note accepted and the man I was talking to was already down Rs 2,000 for the month. I thought he would be angry and spit venom at those responsible, including the Prime Minister for the loss and inconvenience. Surprisingly, he defended the PM's action. "Do you know after how long I have tasted vegetables in my house Sir? Until 3 weeks back, Rs 100 would buy some 3 kg of tomatoes, now I can bargain for 6. Yes, it is a bit inconvenient for us drawing out money, but more and more people are going cashless. Soon there will be a cashless Bharat." Wow! Caste-less we haven't become in some 70 years of independence, reason politics; and I have the same view on becoming cashless as well, for much the same reason. But, this man had certainly booked his season ticket on the "Modi-Express".

Leaving the common man on the platform, it seems our famous Bollywood actor, the most wanted Dabaang Tiger has climbed aboard the "Swachh-Bharat Express". Tired of watching people crap in front of his house while enjoying a million dollar sea view and sea-breeze (no not because they hate his acting, rather, out of an ancient and well loved tradition of open defecation), he complained to the authorities to make it stop. In stead, he was drafted as a brand ambassador to educate people on the ills of such practise. I wonder why was he hand picked? Was it because of how he taught street dwellers a lesson on not sleeping on the pavements, or black bucks on what happens when they obstruct his view?  In any event the guy always plays the role of law enforcer and ends up facing its heat in real life for no real fault of his, mostly because of what he says. Guys, give him a break, he is only "being human". The latest news is that the authorities feel that operation "cut the crap" may not succeed as the real hero (or villain) in operation "clean up the roads" was owned up by the actor's driver-less car, and in "please keep clear oh deer" - it was the auto target detecting and self firing gun, which even our army does not have that was responsible. Too bad he did not get a jail sentence, else he would have joined the league of extraordinary men who end up as rulers of men. It's okay for such men to whip out revolvers just like in "westworld'.  Maybe our government should have ordered a surgical strike on those who literally stink our nation with open defecation, after all they are not bovine to receive the incentives and protection they have at the tax payer's cost.

Well, as a tax payer, I am certainly opposed to the excessive security doled out to the political community, knowing well that most of them are undeserving of the same. I saw a clip of the CM of WB screaming hysterically about what she believes is her fiefdom being attacked and annexed to India by the Indian Army. Her state did look like it was in need of some considerable help; no, not WB silly, but the state of her mind. While "Didi"  may be paranoid about the presence of the army, but I do think that the Apollo hospital in Chennai will request for it to be deployed, just in case. Should anything happen to the "Amma" while in its care, there will no hospital there the next day. Well there have been strong rumors floating for more than a month that she is already....  you can guess. Did you know if you said that in TN you could be arrested? Good punishment, as she did wake up from coma, signed papers (thumb impressions) and make statements even though no one in the general public saw her. Well one should never believe in or spread rumors anyway.

Why am I saying it? Because, there are tons of it floating around. Remember as kids we were told to be scared of the "budda-baba" (old man) kind of bogey-man? Our PM is the latest Old/Bogey man. He is coming after your cash, your gold, your property, here and overseas. Some of my friends asked why not after the wives, cause if it was not for them, a man would never need cash, gold or property; just like our wise PM who has become a billionaire - receiving a billion or more blessings of his people. Well his ministers (at least) some of them would put a lot of billionaires to shame, Mr. Trump included.

Mr. Trump, looks like he has become a Modi fan too. He too has decided to fill his cabinet with billionaires. (Guys, every cabinet is not that of booze and cash). However, the true credit for starting this trend goes to our former PM, the one who regained his voice after a hiatus of some ten years. I asked a few people if they would give our PM five more years after the current term? Well most said they would promise to give him ten more if he lets them survive until 2019 elections. Why won't he? After all it looks like this nation is full of honest people, event the dishonest ones. Everyone seems to be returning the Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes to the banks, irrespective how they were earned. The banking system is worried that at the rate at which it is collecting money, all of the Rs 1.4 trillion in circulation will come back. Some fear even more, and the trouble is not much of it is fake as per the machines. See, we were all wrong in casting doubts about the men and women in white being corrupt. No wonder they are not looking troubled in any way.

Lastly, some 220 million people of this Country will become millionaires via the "Jan Dhan" (people's wealth) scheme. How aptly was it named . How? Am I going to tell you everything? Don't you follow the news? The PM had promised that every Indian household will get Rs 1.5 million when he gets the culprits to surrender their ill gotten wealth. There, you have it. Now if you did not open a Jan Dhan account, and haven't received your share, then it's your own bloody fault. What? You called me a liar?

In this country, everyone speaks the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it is an inconvenient one.


* If you don't understand the meaning - don't read it